


Coffee Table

by HPFandom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Explicit Language, Humor, M/M, Parody, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-12
Updated: 2007-01-12
Packaged: 2018-10-01 05:02:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10181261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HPFandom_archivist/pseuds/HPFandom_archivist
Summary: Charlie is determined to show Harry that their new coffee table can go the distance...





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [HP Fandom](http://fanlore.org/wiki/HP_Fandom_\(archive\)), which was closed for health and financial reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [HP Fandom collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/profile).

**Disclaimer** \- I do not own the characters, or furniture-chain, mentioned in this story.  
 **Warnings** \- Light bondage, Bad Language, Cheap Furniture.

This is a fluffy interval before I publish a story with _gasp_ an actual **PLOT**! *S*S* xx

 

 

"We should really get a new coffee table."

Harry rolled his eyes, and snuggled closer to Charlie as they sat on the sofa watching _'Saw II'_ and eating popcorn. For saying it had been Charlie who broke the coffee table (falling onto it in a drunken stupor after Harry's last birthday, three months ago), he was complaining like it was all Harry's fault, and the brunette couldn't keep a hint of irritation out of his voice as he answered. "Well, if you hadn't decided it would be a good idea to turn the pieces into little wooden stick animals, I could have mended it. You want a coffee table so bad, you go get one."

"I will do."

"You do that."

"I will!"

"Good for you!"

"I'll get one, that'll show you!"

"Charlie?"

"Babe?"

"Shut the fuck up and watch the film, OK?"

 

 

**************************************************************

 

 

"What is that?"

"A coffee table!"

"Charlie, it's a box, with Swedish…so help me Merlin please tell me you did not go to Ikea?!"

"Yeah! I couldn't find a table I liked, so I stopped in on the way home, and they had this coffee table for thirty-five pounds! That's dirt cheap! All I have to do is bang in a few nails and hey presto – we have a new coffee table."

"OK. One; you're crap at DIY. Two; there's a good reason that coffee table was so cheap. Three; I thought you hated muggle chain stores?"

"Well…yeah…but y'know; thirty-five pounds Harry!"

Harry rolled his eyes at his husband and shook his head softly. He loved Charlie dearly, but the redhead would be the death of him! "Fine, but when you fuck it up and hurt yourself, don't come crying to me."

"You don't think I can put a table together?"

"Babe, even if, by some stroke of magical intervention, you manage to get that put together, it'll collapse if a coffee cup so much as enters the room."

Charlie scowled, and picked up the hammer, turning his back on Harry and picking up the instruction sheet. It didn't look that hard, bloody Harry never had any faith in him. But Charlie had a plan, and he was not going to let his husband win this. Pretending he couldn't hear Harry's exasperated sigh, he waited until the brunette had stomped off upstairs before beginning to bang in nails…

 

 

**************************************************************

 

 

Harry stood looking at the coffee table, and the satisfied smirk on Charlie's face, and rolled his eyes. "Fine, have an award, you made a table. But look at its flimsy little legs! I concede it could probably hold one coffee cup, two at a push. But when we have guests? Or popcorn? Or you rest your feet on it with your great clumping shoes on? The whole thing will fall apart!"

"We'll just have to test out your theory."

"What?"

Harry hadn't even noticed the length of velvet rope, but now he saw it, mainly because it had wound around his wrists and pulled them tightly together above his head. "Charlie!"

Charlie snickered, and stepped up to Harry, kissing the disgruntled brunette deeply until he felt a knee pressing warningly into his groin.

"If you think I wouldn't you are sadly mistaken. Untie me, right now."

"What, exactly, are you in such a mard about?"

"You! You have been banging at that table all fucking afternoon, it's crap, and now you're going to do something to me and I won't like it."

"You'll love it."

"Charlie, you know inability to get a hard-on due to your balls being kneed through your throat is a valid excuse for a divorce, right? I am losing my temper!"

Charlie stepped back and hung his head, knowing exactly how to play Harry to get what he wanted. He was the bigger of the two men, but Harry was most definitely in charge of the relationship, fierce and headstrong where Charlie was calm and laidback. "You don't want me, OK, I'll untie you."

"Charlie I…I'm sorry, OK, I don't know why I'm in a bad mood, I just am. I'm really not in the mood for games tonight."

Charlie nodded, and stepped around Harry. Pressing himself flush to his husband's back, Charlie murmured a spell to bind Harry's legs, and in the ensuing surprise summoned over the gag and slipped it into Harry's mouth, fastening it while the surprise was still stopping Harry from thrashing about. Moving back around to face his husband, he began undoing the buttons of Harry's shirt, smirking happily into angry green eyes. Just because Harry was in charge of the relationship, it didn't mean Charlie wouldn't take the reins from time to time…

Harry groaned against the gag as Charlie pushed his shirt open and pinched his nipples firmly; he loved when the redhead hurt him, and Charlie knew this. He shivered slightly as work-calloused hands travelled slowly down his body, tracing the definition of his stomach before undoing his jeans and slipping inside his boxers. Harry swayed towards Charlie's body as familiar hands stroked him softly and it felt so damn good that he wanted to cry when his lover pulled away.

"I'm going to show you just how sturdy this coffee table is, OK."

Harry nodded, and felt as Charlie took a tight hold of his body, pushing his jeans and boxers down around his thighs before lowering him gently onto the table. Harry was certain the thing would break, but it held up under his weight as Charlie moved to his feel and pulled off his jeans and boxers. He was positioned so that his knees could bend over the edge of the table, and Charlie tied each ankle to a chair leg, tight. Harry would have marks when they were finished, but he liked marks…

Charlie moved slowly and carefully; he didn't want to risk their games by freaking Harry out. The coffee table wasn't that long, and Harry's shoulders rested on the opposite end to the backs of his knees, his neck supported just enough to stop his head lolling off the table. Charlie smiled, and kissed his husband's forehead softly, "I'm going to move your hands, OK?"

Harry nodded, and didn't struggle as Charlie undid his hands. He would do them both a disservice pretending he didn't want this when he so clearly did, and Harry let his limbs go lax so that Charlie could manipulate him into position. The table wasn't that high, so Charlie bound his arms to the table legs, bending his elbows to rest on the floor at right angles. The binding was tight, and Harry's cock swelled a little more at the through of the red lines that would criss-cross his arms, of his husband's tongue tracing each line…

"Easy Love, there's a way to go yet."

Harry nodded, and pleaded with his eyes. He saw Charlie relent, and the redhead leant over him. "I'll take the gag off, but it goes right back on if you give me gyp, OK?"

Harry nodded, and sucked in a deep breath when the gag was removed, moving his jaw up and down experimentally to release the slight stiffness. Charlie leant back down and rewarded him with a gentle kiss, coaxing Harry's tongue into his mouth and nipping at it gently as his fingers raked up and down his husband's chest, dragging blunt nails hard enough to leave marks, and pinching at Harry's taut nipples until the brunette's breath came in sharp bursts.

Harry's erection was aching and heavy, bouncing on his stomach, a line of pre-cum glistening as it stretched between his slit and his abs. Harry watched in awe; it was only with Charlie that he could see himself, could understand himself, as a sexual being, and he bit his lip as Charlie purred in his ear, "What do you think of my table now?"

"Lo~love it."

Charlie carried on abusing Harry's nipples as he kissed the brunette, this one more biting, leaving marks and bruises that travelled straight to Charlie's already aching erection. He wanted to toy with his lover, to make the brunette pay for doubting him, but his body wouldn't allow it. Pulling back from the kiss, he shifted Harry on the coffee table so that his head could hang over the edge, giving him an upside down view of Charlie's groin. The redhead knew his intentions were obvious, but he took a perverse joy from the way Harry's cock jumped when he whispered huskily in the other man's ear, "Sixty-nine me baby."

It wasn't the most comfortable position, supporting himself on his hands and knees over the low coffee table and his husband, but none of that mattered when Harry's mouth closed around his cock, and Charlie let out a long growl of satisfaction before returning the favour. He was briefly aware of the fact that now would not be a good time for one of his mother's 'surprise' visits, but then the wonderful taste of Harry exploded in his mouth and he truly didn't care. Deep-throating was impossible for Charlie, so he raised one hand and balanced himself precariously so that he could massage the length of shaft that wasn't in his mouth. He felt Harry's gag reflex closing around him, and growled around his mouthful, pushing his prick deeper down his husband's throat as his orgasm began curling in his stomach. Charlie intensified his attack on Harry's cock; he wanted the brunette to cum first, and he felt Harry's body beginning to tremble, gently at first but getting more violent, until ropes of cum shot down his throat, and Charlie felt his lover's screams reverberate through his cock, pushing him over the edge.

Where Charlie had swallowed everything Harry gave him, Harry's position made this virtually impossible, and most went down his face as Charlie collapsed to the floor between the coffee table and the sofa. For long minutes they lay, panting, in silence, until Charlie broke the silence in a smirking voice, "Still think the new coffee table is crap?"

"No, it's amazing."

"And where do you stand on me and DIY?"

"You're a DIY whiz. Charlie?"

Charlie didn’t need asking, he moved to kneel by Harry and kissed him softly, cleaning up his face before untying him and massaging the feeling back into his limbs…

 

 

**************************************************************

 

 

Charlie was sprawled out on the sofa when Harry walked in that evening, carrying two bottles of beer and a bowl of popcorn. "What movies have you got?"

" _Hostel_ , or _Break My Back On A Mountain_."

"Break my back on a mountain?"

"Uhm…hang on…here it is… _Eighty-three minutes of hot sex, as Kevin visits the outback only to be kidnapped by a group of horny cowboys and initiated into their way of life._ It's in case you get scared and need cheering up."

"I am the Boy Who Lived. Twice. I do not get scared."

"Of course not. And it was the cold making you tremble when we went to see _The Grudge_!"

"It was cold in that cinema! Shut up, and put the damn movie in."

As Charlie stood up, Harry set the popcorn down on the coffee table. There was a dangerous creaking sound, and the whole thing collapsed ion a pile of nails and splinters and buttered popcorn. Charlie looked at it flabbergasted, and Harry looked royally pissed off.

"Harry, I…uh…I…"

"Charlie, did you use a strengthening charm on this coffee table to prove your point?"

Charlie hung his head, and he heard Harry huff.

"You'd better skip straight to the second DVD; you could have killed me this afternoon!"

Charlie groaned, and pushed the second DVD in, moving back to the sofa but being thwarted in his attempts to get back on. From the pointed look in Harry's eyes, it was evident to Charlie that he would be spending the evening on his knees, and he helped Harry to wriggle out of his jeans as the movie started playing…

Harry murmured softly as the movie started paying and Charlie started toying with him. He should probably confess to having thrown a silent, wandless weakening charm at the table to ensure it broke when he put the popcorn on it, but when Kevin was entered by the first cowboy, and Charlie's mouth slid over his head, Harry decided he didn't really care. He might let Charlie take the reigns sometimes, but he always got them back in the end…!


End file.
